Since being in university for the past 2 and a half years (give or take) I have yet to receive an A on any major papers for any class! This has been something which has eaten away at me so much that I would wonder what the point was if I couldn't even write a decent paper. I know someone out there is cringing and going 'grades aren't everything!' but when your an English major AND you want to be a writer its a real slap in the face to have comments like 'doesn't have a good grasp on the English language' (which I still think is untrue, I just have a bad grasp on grammar). Yeah, ouch, real disheartening.
Last semester was the worst for this. I took a modernist British novel class, which was swains and I loved, but I couldn't seen to get the papers quite right. The final paper ended up being a complete disaster. My topic was terrible and I basically spent three days editing the paper, and only got a c+. Considering I edited that paper more than any other and yeah...:( looking back I realize I should have changed my topic, and started it earlier so I could've hit up the writing centre or Kirstie and/or Raya. Now I know better and received a grade I feel like I DESERVE!
Thankfully I'm basically feeling better about everything cause this is actually a pretty hard class (for me) and I thought I was gonna fail it, for a moment there. That just, like, made my day n'shit :). So far this week is a million times better than last week, now if I only do this well on my the English paper ima get back tomorrow! Fingers crossed, but it's unlikely, that one was written the day before :S.