Monday, February 20, 2012

I am static and it's depressing me.

Yay for Adele. And friend that’ll listen to me bitch and whine about how annoying life can beeeee. I’ve had such a lame day. I basically sat around at home and got NOTHING DONE! Ugh. I’m realizing I really should have taken this semester off. I’m really not into it at all and I’m just tired of taking English. It’s not even that I don’t like it, I’m just ready to try something new. I feel like for the last four years my life has been pretty static. I’ve had the same shitty retail job, lived in the same place and been going to the same school. This is all fine and dandy, but since not much changed for my from high school to university it’s getting a bit dull. Well I mean things did change, I switched school, jobs and living situations, and those were big changes for me for the first couple years, maybe just the first year, but honestly now I’m just bored. I get bored easily and quickly unfortunately, because of this I constantly need to try new things and meet new people. I’m very aware of this and I’ve reached that point were if I don’t do something to change my situation I will seriously go crazy. 
Another thing that’s been getting me down is that I’m starting to feel like I haven’t grown up AT ALL. I mean I have, I know I have, but sometimes I just feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like a lot of people in my life (my friends that live on their own mostly) seem thing think I can’t take care of myself. Maybe because I never had too and they’ve never really seen me in a situation where I did. The thing is, I know I am capable of that. It is one thing I am very sure of, I’m not the sort of person that likes to be dependent on others unless I need some sort of emotional support or something of that nature; or I just want a good bitching session. I honestly just like to be left alone to take care of myself sometimes, it’s nice to not worry about anyone else and to be alone sometimes. 
Lately, I’ve been trying to move. I’ve had two opportunities come up and fall through faster than you can say packing! First, I was gonna move in with two good friends from high school cause they though their current roommate was gonna move out and they have a cheap room. Unfortunately, he changed his mind and decided to stay. Second, my friend found me a house sitting gig near Uvic for a lady she’d house sat for before. I went out there, met the lady, got shown around the house, she went over all the rules etc with me, then tonight she called to tell me that she’d found someone else, but she’d keep my name for a future date. Disappointed. Seriously. I know that it wasn’t for sure, but she had acted like it was and she seemed to like me. Her house was adorable too and I was actually really excited about it. I even started to look for a new job downtown (still gonna do that). Anyway my last hope is that I can find a friend to move in with or move in with my sister, which we have been talking about for ages. It just sucks right now cause I basically have no money and I haven’t been getting any shifts at work. I tried to talk to my manager about it, but she was just condescending and bitchy about it so I gave up. The thing is, I’ve never really had my shifts cut this much before, they really like me their cause I’ve worked there for like 3+ years and I know all the departments, so yeah that really sucks. I also owe my friend a bunch of money for a trop we’re going on to Anahiem in June and I haven’t even started to pay him back! Plus I have all those students loans. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! I hate this. I must stop prematurely stressing over shit. Not worth it. 
Anyway I think that is everything I wanted to get off my chest, I feel a bit better and if anyone knows of job opportunities or wants a roommate in like May or July, let me know! 

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Random Abnormalities

I really like random, unlikely or abnormal events. Just things that are socially strange, small things, because they tend to show how flimsy our social reality actually is. I feel like large social abnormalities don't show this off in quite the same way because we tend to place them in a separate space, like they aren't part of our world any more. But, something small, like forgetting to tip a waiter or tripping, those things, or find a door locked when it should be open; those things are still part of our reality. They almost seem more abnormal to us because of this.

So today I had an abnormal event happen, it was seriously just the smallest thing, but it just made you stop and think for a minute. It was one of those things that made me question what was going on cause the entire thing was so confusing for me. Now, your going to think I'm completely crazy for being obsessed with such a insignificant, but this is the sort of thing that fascinates me to no end.

Today my sister and I were studying in a coffee shop. There was this one barista who was really cute and friendly. Now, I sorta saw him looking over at our table a lot, but that was probably just because we were the youngest people in there and we stayed for so long. We both, on separate occasions got croissant's and I had tea which I refilled a couple of times. After we'd been there for quite awhile and had the afore mentioned food the cute coffee guy showed up at my table with a croissant which I had not ordered. He apologised forgetting to bring it and I was confused because so I said, no I already had one or something like that then he was like, no I forgot and gave this charming smile. I am crazy for being confused? Anyway, after this I sent my friend a text about something unrelated, I thought about returning the croissant, but I couldn't figure out why he'd brought it to me in the first place. I got engrossed with the paper I was working on and honestly forgot about it. Then suddenly he was at our table again and said sorry, you didn't order a croissant did you. You don't want this, I just blankly said no and went back to my paper. I find this whole thing very strange. Was he trying to hit on me with a croissant? Does that happen? Or did he just become confused, which would be perfectly fine. The entire thing was off from the normal waiter/barista-customer interaction which is what causes me to be so fascinated with it.
So that is my story, thoughts? Opinions? Questions? (i apologize for any spelling errors or wrongs words, I'm writing this on my iPhone and it tends to correct things without me noticing...)