Essays, writing, and such

I think about writing a lot. It's kind of a problem, because sometimes I really don't care about anything else. And today, I realized something sad. The topic I like to write about the most is me. I wish this was otherwise or I enjoyed writing other things, but I don't. There are a couple of factors which contribute to this fact. First, I often feel as if I don't have the authority to write about other people or to write certain genres because I'm not a "good enough writer yet", or it's just to much work. Writing this, is not work to me. It is pure enjoyment. Maybe some people will say that is wrong, that writing should always be hard, but I don't believe that, I don't think that it has to be hard all the time. Writing the first thing which pops into your head is awesome and relaxing, maybe not always the best results, but its good for you.

The second thing, as a student, I spend a lot of time writing for other people about things I don't always care that much about. I hate to confess this, but honestly, I don't give a fuck what Burney's views, as displayed in Evelina, were about classes or gender relations. Honest, I don't. This is why I have chosen writer over professor for my first choice career.

Another thing I have to had here about my writing and me (sorry that sounds like a bad self-help book) is that I think I'm WAAAAAY to passionate about it, and no-where near talented or skilled enough in it (yet!) to justify this. It worries me. It makes me fall down harder than I should, which is a problem because I am definitely a bottler (as in I bottle things up) I tend to only portray part of myself to the world, the part I think they should see. This is because I spend most of my time inside my own head and do it unintentionally and because it's a lot easier to pretend sometimes, even necessary.

Okay I was just intending to take a quick break from a paper and definitely got distracted and wrote waaaaaaay more than I meant too (apologies for the emphasized waaaaaay, I just needed to get that out of my system :P). Now I go back to writing about Ghost Writer, which is awesome btw and you'll should read it. The essay inspired this post. Tootles for now lovelies.