Wednesday, May 02, 2012

How to date me, or get with me or whatevs.

Okay, I just decided I've been single for TOO LONG. Two years is too long and considering it wasn't even long term or particularly scarring relationship this is getting silly.

LET'S BE HONEST HERE. I actually just need an excuse to write this list, cause I'm bored and this shit amuses me.

So here are somethings guys who want to date me should do! :) (if there are actually some, cause I haven't been able to find them).
Maybe this'll help someone out... or maybe I'm asking too much, but I gave up so y'all gotta try harder. Plus it's amusing for me. :P

1. Feed me. This never fails. I'm like a fucking cat or something, give me free food or candy and I'll just keep coming back.

2. Make an effort to look nice, because I'm making an effort to look nice too.

3. Ask me to hang out. It's fun to do things, you know, like out of the house... in the park... at the beach, whatevs.

4. You probably should also TELL ME if you like me or else confusion will ensue.

5. Let's be friends! Because It's always nice to be friends with someone you're (eventually) gonna sleep with (maybe).

6. Make an effort to contact meeeee. I like it. I will contact you, IF you contact me too.

7. Let me meet your friends. Cause if you want me in your life you actually want me in your entire life.

8. Gifts and charm always work. I am very susceptible to these, but I pretend I'm not so don't be fooled.

9. You should probably kiss me that some point. I like kissing quite a lot (as in very much).

10. It is completely unnecessary and a little weird if you like everything I like. I mean really weird. I never understood this.

11. Don't be afraid to argue or disagree a little. Cause it's fun n'shit.

12. Smile and laugh, don't be afraid to joke around. I don't take stuff to seriously.

13. Tease me.

14. Be interesting. Please. I hate boring. I hate being bored. I lose patience quick and lose interest.

15. Don't give up on meeee, but don't be a pushy jerk either, cause that's never classy. Some times (all the time) I'm a little slow to make up my mind.

16. Errr this seems really obvious, but you could just ask me out. That seems like it's effective for other people... usually.

I really think I need to actually put in effort toooo. I just hate dating though. Especially online dating those guys only ever want to sleep with me, so uninteresting.
Oh and please don't take this too seriously, it isn't proven in effectiveness or anything... but chances are if you at least try you could have a shot right?
I don't even know why I'm writing this nobody who'll read it even cares. Expect it might be funny. Maybe. I'm starting to get loopy again. BEDTIME NIGHT INTERWEBZ.

Actually fuck all these.

1. Feed me.
2. Make me laugh
3. And don't be gross.

You're good to go!