Monday, February 20, 2012

I am static and it's depressing me.

Yay for Adele. And friend that’ll listen to me bitch and whine about how annoying life can beeeee. I’ve had such a lame day. I basically sat around at home and got NOTHING DONE! Ugh. I’m realizing I really should have taken this semester off. I’m really not into it at all and I’m just tired of taking English. It’s not even that I don’t like it, I’m just ready to try something new. I feel like for the last four years my life has been pretty static. I’ve had the same shitty retail job, lived in the same place and been going to the same school. This is all fine and dandy, but since not much changed for my from high school to university it’s getting a bit dull. Well I mean things did change, I switched school, jobs and living situations, and those were big changes for me for the first couple years, maybe just the first year, but honestly now I’m just bored. I get bored easily and quickly unfortunately, because of this I constantly need to try new things and meet new people. I’m very aware of this and I’ve reached that point were if I don’t do something to change my situation I will seriously go crazy. 
Another thing that’s been getting me down is that I’m starting to feel like I haven’t grown up AT ALL. I mean I have, I know I have, but sometimes I just feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like a lot of people in my life (my friends that live on their own mostly) seem thing think I can’t take care of myself. Maybe because I never had too and they’ve never really seen me in a situation where I did. The thing is, I know I am capable of that. It is one thing I am very sure of, I’m not the sort of person that likes to be dependent on others unless I need some sort of emotional support or something of that nature; or I just want a good bitching session. I honestly just like to be left alone to take care of myself sometimes, it’s nice to not worry about anyone else and to be alone sometimes. 
Lately, I’ve been trying to move. I’ve had two opportunities come up and fall through faster than you can say packing! First, I was gonna move in with two good friends from high school cause they though their current roommate was gonna move out and they have a cheap room. Unfortunately, he changed his mind and decided to stay. Second, my friend found me a house sitting gig near Uvic for a lady she’d house sat for before. I went out there, met the lady, got shown around the house, she went over all the rules etc with me, then tonight she called to tell me that she’d found someone else, but she’d keep my name for a future date. Disappointed. Seriously. I know that it wasn’t for sure, but she had acted like it was and she seemed to like me. Her house was adorable too and I was actually really excited about it. I even started to look for a new job downtown (still gonna do that). Anyway my last hope is that I can find a friend to move in with or move in with my sister, which we have been talking about for ages. It just sucks right now cause I basically have no money and I haven’t been getting any shifts at work. I tried to talk to my manager about it, but she was just condescending and bitchy about it so I gave up. The thing is, I’ve never really had my shifts cut this much before, they really like me their cause I’ve worked there for like 3+ years and I know all the departments, so yeah that really sucks. I also owe my friend a bunch of money for a trop we’re going on to Anahiem in June and I haven’t even started to pay him back! Plus I have all those students loans. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! I hate this. I must stop prematurely stressing over shit. Not worth it. 
Anyway I think that is everything I wanted to get off my chest, I feel a bit better and if anyone knows of job opportunities or wants a roommate in like May or July, let me know! 

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