New Year, time to start writing again.

I think we all have a plethora of resolutions every January and they usually fall under that category of bettering one's self or losing weight. I decided I should probably just focus on self love and doing things that I want to do, or things that make me happy. So here, in its short form, is my list of resolutions:

1. Write something on a blog once a week. 
2. Remind myself I am awesome and amazing every freaking day, even when I’m feeling like shit.
3. Get a new freaking job already.
4. Travel somewhere new and far away.
5. Stop being afraid.

I suppose I could add some other things to this list that are more traditional, like fall in love (already got that fairly covered), or get a tattoo, but I think all in all my list is fairly standard. Now I know some of the things sound like self-betterment or whatever you call it, but I put them under the stronger and more selfish category of self love instead. I think I deserve to do things that make me happy and fulfilled, nobody else. I hate my job I'll get a new one, I want to travel because I want to see some new places and meet people and learn something new. I want to write simply because I love writing. I don't think any of these things will make me a better person. Writing or travelling don't make you a better person, but how you use those things or what you gain from them could. 

I just want to start the new year with something for myself. Last year I spent a lot of time feeling broken and disillusioned by life in general, not to mention set a drift and lonely. It wasn't super fun. This year is going to be different. I've got a new guy in my life that actually wants to be part of it, one of my best friends has returned from living away for awhile, I've got some extra money coming my way which will hopefully give me the opportunity to travel for a bit or work abroad. This is definitely the year I'll get out of winners, that's a certainty. And I feel like an era is ending for me. I'm finally starting to feel like a real grown up who can make real decisions about my future and form strong, happy relationships with many sorts of lovely people. 

My mom is leaving the country for the first time in years to go travel with her new boyfriend for a few months which gives me a sense of loss because I'm so used to having her close by to help out or go home to when I need to, that will be strange, but I think it will be good for all of us. It'll give me a chance to finally commit to my life as it is rather than constantly looking for alternatives (like living at home instead of on my own) or looking to the past and how things once were. It's sad the house is gone, but I think it'll be okay because as all good childhood movies have taught us, home is the people, not the place and for that matter I still have a place I will always and forever consider home. 

Anyway to wrap this rambly post up, I think 2014 is starting off pretty strong and positive. I want to do many things and change in many ways and I know I won't always get everything I want and there will be some surprises, but I've already put in a good, positive, start to the year so I feel like it will be a strong one. 

Until next week readers, 

Terri 

Writing brain function: Normal.

My writers block seems to be gone!
Yay!
I've been making up stories about every second person I see and even writing some of them... in a very lazy fashion, but nonetheless it seems I want to write again because for awhile there I almost felt like not writing at all. It was a terrible moment for me. I questioned whether I even wanted to bother any more then started crying and had a little mental panic attack which suggests it is quite possibly rather important to me that I continue... rather.

I've also decided I don't care how good a writer I am. I just give up. I'm never going to be as good as I want to be. I'm never going to write perfectly. The only thing I can do is continue writing and improving cause it makes me happy and it's like my fucking therapy.

I'd also like to state that these blog posts (and anything I post on tumblr) DO NOT COUNT! These are effortless (usually) and just for fun I suppose (most of the time) I don't really count them as 'serious' writing. Serious writing is sitting down and taking a lot of time and effort to create some kind of perfection. Basically you torture yourself a lot (and this is what I love?).

Anyway. I actually edited a story I've been working on for like, a year or so which made me feel better and I have another one I want to start, so yay!
It's also nice to have my brain back in this place where I feel inspired all the time (that sounds cheesy, it totally is). It's nice. It makes life sooooo much less dull and more bearable. Not that it was really dreadful before, but I'm happier here. So much happier.

Okay. That is all. 

Essays, writing, and such

I think about writing a lot. It's kind of a problem, because sometimes I really don't care about anything else. And today, I realized something sad. The topic I like to write about the most is me. I wish this was otherwise or I enjoyed writing other things, but I don't. There are a couple of factors which contribute to this fact. First, I often feel as if I don't have the authority to write about other people or to write certain genres because I'm not a "good enough writer yet", or it's just to much work. Writing this, is not work to me. It is pure enjoyment. Maybe some people will say that is wrong, that writing should always be hard, but I don't believe that, I don't think that it has to be hard all the time. Writing the first thing which pops into your head is awesome and relaxing, maybe not always the best results, but its good for you.

The second thing, as a student, I spend a lot of time writing for other people about things I don't always care that much about. I hate to confess this, but honestly, I don't give a fuck what Burney's views, as displayed in Evelina, were about classes or gender relations. Honest, I don't. This is why I have chosen writer over professor for my first choice career.

Another thing I have to had here about my writing and me (sorry that sounds like a bad self-help book) is that I think I'm WAAAAAY to passionate about it, and no-where near talented or skilled enough in it (yet!) to justify this. It worries me. It makes me fall down harder than I should, which is a problem because I am definitely a bottler (as in I bottle things up) I tend to only portray part of myself to the world, the part I think they should see. This is because I spend most of my time inside my own head and do it unintentionally and because it's a lot easier to pretend sometimes, even necessary.

Okay I was just intending to take a quick break from a paper and definitely got distracted and wrote waaaaaaay more than I meant too (apologies for the emphasized waaaaaay, I just needed to get that out of my system :P). Now I go back to writing about Ghost Writer, which is awesome btw and you'll should read it. The essay inspired this post. Tootles for now lovelies.

What should this post be about... hmmmmm

The other night, as I was falling asleep, I had a really good idea for a blog post and I couldn't wait to get on the computer and write it! Now here I am, the next evening and guess what? I have no idea what that post was! I'm sure it was pretty cool though... like:
Babies!

Who doesn't like cute little pink and innocent babies? yeah not much to talk about there...unless you have one, then the topics are never ending... I do not yet posse a baby, nor is there any future plan to have one so that topic is out.

Or

Cats! Okay cats actually aren't as cute as something even more awesome, KITTENS! (imagine a drum roll before "kittens"). They aren't actually that exciting to write about though... just exciting to look at...errr not like that guys! Sooooo cute.... ^_^



Okay I don't know why I keep thinking of only cute things... my brain is sooo tired . ugh.

I suppose I could talk about literature or writing, but honestly that's what I do all day in school, well for like three hours at least... the other 4/5 hours I spend talking about school or people and reading. That is it.

So no literature or writing. Today this will be a lit and writing free blog post! Expect that I've already introduced the topic...and I'm writing it... okay okay I see the ironies there.

Lets talk about KNITTING! (no not kitten, stop misreading that and getting excited! geez).
I've actually been doing a lot of knitting lately, well starting knitting projects anyway. I am currently working on a pair of fingerless gloves right now. Very beautiful purple yarn, lots of fun.


Sorry I don't have a picture of my work-in-progress yet, just been busy and lazy! Any who interwebz homies that will be all!

Play: the jealous social networking (untitled)

I got this idea into my head that it would be fun to write a play focused on social networking and the hazards associated with becoming too obsessed with it and with someone. The concept of the play is a little different. It will involve the main character (Becca) boyfriends page with pictures, comments, status etc projected on a screen behind Becca in the scenes where she is shown on the computer so that the play go-ers know what's up and why Becca is continually moody and upset throughout the play.

Hopefully this works out okay and isn't to difficult. I still haven't worked out how to incorporate the facebook projections in yet. I think maybe a screen will be down, with Becca off to the side and a spot light on her, the screen would have to go up when ever she closed the computer or someone came into the room to talk to her. The scene with her pacing around and talking about John and why she's upset (she thinks he's cheating) will be the most difficult because it will have her going back and forth from pacing to the computer. I thought about making this a movie instead but it would be way to slow paced for a movie, in my opinion, and I just like the idea of staging it. It's a simply story about jealous and insecurity when you come down too it, really nothing new.

Anyway if you have any thoughts at all LET ME KNOW! I *may* post part of a rough draft up after I've written it, so far I only have the outline/stage directions down. It's already five acts! So surprised how quickly I moved along with it! Also I haven't got a title, what is in the subject line is only a working title, so if you've got any good ideas for that let me know! Thanks guys :)